So my last post was really only the bare minimum of what has been going on these past few months. Prior to being fired (seriously, saying "let go" does not disguise the reality of the situation), I had been having a lot of frustration--both personally and work-related--that caused things to change drastically for me.
The first part of it occurred after the first Stella Luna explosion, which sent me home in a terrible and depressive mood. I immediately went to bed and later stayed up half the night reading various things online, none of which were good. It just made me feel like being here was not what I wanted because I wanted to be as far away as possible from the dysfunctionally awful seat of power, both Canada's and the U.S. There are things about Ontario which strike me as too American and it made me desperate to return to lovely B.C. with the harmless hippies.
This episode also partially contributed to me rethinking my life plans yet again. With the way I feel about the way the world works and the inability, or rather indifference, of the government and UN to really do anything about the world's problems, I realized that I do not want to go into International Affairs. I feel like I would not be able to really affect the system and create change. I had wanted to go into that field thinking it would help me achieve my goals: to go to Africa and to make a difference in the world. However, there is no guarantee that this route would get me to Africa nor to make a positive impact if my hands are tied by bureaucracy.
Instead, I realized that my original plan for university, to get my teaching degree, is actually the best way to go. I can more or less choose where I want to go and also be able to influence the world, one classroom at a time. By the time I figured this out in late January, I had already missed the application deadline to start in September. I know I'm going back to Victoria to do this though because other schools would require that I start a five-year degree all over again, unlike UVic's Post-degree program which takes two years at maximum. At this point, I just need to work and save money for school and take on volunteering with youth in some capacity to better enable me to get into my program.
It might seem silly that I had to take such a long and meandering detour to figure this all out, but one of the reasons I didn't go right into the Post-degree program was because I knew that I was not ready to be a teacher yet. I felt I needed more life experience before I would feel comfortable taking on a life of teaching others. And life experience is exactly what I am getting out of this cross-Canada detour of mine. Even now, I feel better prepared than when I had just finished school; and my adventure isn't over yet.
All of this led somewhat to my volunteering at Operation Come Home. I had wanted to find somewhere to volunteer even while unhappily at Stella Luna, but wasn't sure where or how to work it into my slightly chaotic schedule as it was. Without Stella I had more free time and while downtown discovered purely by accident: Operation Come Home. Seeing the slogan "Helping to prevent homeless youth from becoming homeless adults" on their building, I knew immediately that this was where I wanted to volunteer. It's been a good experience and it's one of the things I wish I didn't have to leave behind here. This morning when I told one of the staff that I won't be volunteering anymore because I'm leaving for Calgary later this month, she jokingly replied with "That's not a good enough reason. I expect you to commute."
The last obstacle was my committing in January to stick around for another year after I told Jess about my frustrations and new plans. We had another talk last Tuesday about housing plans and I finally felt like I could genuinely consider moving away from here and I knew it had to be Calgary. It was an enjoyable city when I passed through and there are lots of jobs there ...and no bilingual barrier! Things have moved quickly since then. I have found several job prospects and already found a roommate who seems to be in the same place in her life as me and like a perfect fit. So I will be leaving Ottawa on the 18th of this month and starting all over again. In the meantime, I plan to enjoy my last two weeks here amid all the things I need to get done by then.
Someone recently posted this quote by Goethe and it is exactly what has happened in the last week since I made my decision to move to Calgary:
The first part of it occurred after the first Stella Luna explosion, which sent me home in a terrible and depressive mood. I immediately went to bed and later stayed up half the night reading various things online, none of which were good. It just made me feel like being here was not what I wanted because I wanted to be as far away as possible from the dysfunctionally awful seat of power, both Canada's and the U.S. There are things about Ontario which strike me as too American and it made me desperate to return to lovely B.C. with the harmless hippies.
This episode also partially contributed to me rethinking my life plans yet again. With the way I feel about the way the world works and the inability, or rather indifference, of the government and UN to really do anything about the world's problems, I realized that I do not want to go into International Affairs. I feel like I would not be able to really affect the system and create change. I had wanted to go into that field thinking it would help me achieve my goals: to go to Africa and to make a difference in the world. However, there is no guarantee that this route would get me to Africa nor to make a positive impact if my hands are tied by bureaucracy.
Instead, I realized that my original plan for university, to get my teaching degree, is actually the best way to go. I can more or less choose where I want to go and also be able to influence the world, one classroom at a time. By the time I figured this out in late January, I had already missed the application deadline to start in September. I know I'm going back to Victoria to do this though because other schools would require that I start a five-year degree all over again, unlike UVic's Post-degree program which takes two years at maximum. At this point, I just need to work and save money for school and take on volunteering with youth in some capacity to better enable me to get into my program.
It might seem silly that I had to take such a long and meandering detour to figure this all out, but one of the reasons I didn't go right into the Post-degree program was because I knew that I was not ready to be a teacher yet. I felt I needed more life experience before I would feel comfortable taking on a life of teaching others. And life experience is exactly what I am getting out of this cross-Canada detour of mine. Even now, I feel better prepared than when I had just finished school; and my adventure isn't over yet.
All of this led somewhat to my volunteering at Operation Come Home. I had wanted to find somewhere to volunteer even while unhappily at Stella Luna, but wasn't sure where or how to work it into my slightly chaotic schedule as it was. Without Stella I had more free time and while downtown discovered purely by accident: Operation Come Home. Seeing the slogan "Helping to prevent homeless youth from becoming homeless adults" on their building, I knew immediately that this was where I wanted to volunteer. It's been a good experience and it's one of the things I wish I didn't have to leave behind here. This morning when I told one of the staff that I won't be volunteering anymore because I'm leaving for Calgary later this month, she jokingly replied with "That's not a good enough reason. I expect you to commute."
The last obstacle was my committing in January to stick around for another year after I told Jess about my frustrations and new plans. We had another talk last Tuesday about housing plans and I finally felt like I could genuinely consider moving away from here and I knew it had to be Calgary. It was an enjoyable city when I passed through and there are lots of jobs there ...and no bilingual barrier! Things have moved quickly since then. I have found several job prospects and already found a roommate who seems to be in the same place in her life as me and like a perfect fit. So I will be leaving Ottawa on the 18th of this month and starting all over again. In the meantime, I plan to enjoy my last two weeks here amid all the things I need to get done by then.
Someone recently posted this quote by Goethe and it is exactly what has happened in the last week since I made my decision to move to Calgary:
"The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."
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